The Sweet Life

Many of you are asking, “Why do we need to be horizontal? Wasn’t the whole point of human evolution to get us walking upright? Why are you telling us to lie down?”

First, let me take you back those 2 or 3 million years ago when monkeys left the tree and entered the grasslands. There, man’s top predator competitor, lions roamed the grasses looking for primate meat. The men in the making had to get vertical as quickly as possible in order to scan over the tall grass for any signs of lions’ tails.

So, we can begin to see that verticality is born out of fear. The fear mechanism in nature forces any series of programmed responses, the instinctual reflexes designed for fight or flight — but strangely, not for peaceful collaboration…

Look at merkits! Talk about a rodent on edge. But their edge is all about beating nature in the game of survival, learning how to stand look out, neck rotating, eyes monitoring a 240% periphery. Yes, verticality arises from fear.

Horizontology arises from conscious magnanimity whereby you, the horizontologist reclines in a world of twitching heads, gesticulating necks, bloodshot eyes scanning for trouble just over the next hill. Claiming your daybed is claiming your king’s chamber whereby you are free and able to deliberate on the things the mind naturally wants to know.

Other reasons suggested for the benefits of horizontology:

Eases the effects of gravity on the face, elbows and knees, eliminates spinal compression.
The horizontologist aligns with the magnetic forces that circle the globe.
All animals (except seahorses) live horizontally. Well, actually birds are upright when perched but they are spine parallel with the surface of Earth when flying.
Fewer accidents that cause injury or death
Long periods of time created for uninterrupted contemplation

Just to name a few…