Horizontology in a Nutshell

Now what?

Now what?

Yes, I’ve been away again seemingly trip toeing through the bayberries.  Life has its standing ups and lying downs and sooner or later, the horizontologist will prop himself up on his elbow and type a little.

Here I would like to briefly explain to you, my dear and faithful horizontologists (and horizon-toddlers) the basic idea of horizontology. Why horizontal? How does it work? Okay, let’s find out:

Man has had to be a vertical animal ever since there were lions.  Lions made the naturally horizontal man have to stretch up on his hind legs and straighten his back and rotate the neck from here to there making sure to watch for lion tails in the African grasslands. Man has been vertical all through his struggle building cities and factories and complex transportation systems.  Men and women have written great literature, painters have produced the finest artwork (although for some reason, mostly within square frames), musicians have composed the most excellent and happy songs. Consider all that humankind has accomplished, all the discoveries and inventions, the passions and epic contests of will. Until now, my dear adherents, we are reduced to vertical hummingbirds in flurried distraction, always late, always filled with angst, always moving faster than the speed of light.

Now it is time to stop.  Hopefully, it’s not too late to jump off the moving carousel before it picks up speed and the painted horses gyrate like egg beaters. Get off the train.

Okay so in brief…

Time to unplug your toaster, cancel your subscription, delete your account and check out of Dodge. Lay low and prosper.



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