The scamp walks to the things that call his name, the sights and sounds and scents that have his number. He finds an easy way about the world through sand and snow he knows no worry and holds no creed…
The Busy Bees
Are people conspiring against you? Do bankers meet to discuss ways to collect more fees at faster rates? Have the leaders of the world made secret pacts known only to club members? Relax, you’re not as paranoid as you think…
Body Building
If you really want to become a horizontologist, you also will want to become a body builder. This does not mean going for the typical Mr. Universe physique but rather keeping the body strong and limber especially the lower back…
Four Hours
Have you read “In Praise of Idleness” by Bertrand Russell? It is brilliant! Idle hands do not make the devil’s work easy; it’s those busy hands forever mussing things around that are working at the root of all mischief. Dr.…
Horizontal Things
There are certain things — what’s the word — accouterments, the standard issue items that are the personal effects of the initiate.  The one who adheres to a way of life, over time, exhibits the artifacts of the endeavor. The…
Gravitational Equalarity
How would you like to achieve gravitational equalarity with me? Sounds suggestive does it not? Here I will give an introduction to the horizontal concept of gravitational equalarity. As you know, the horizontologist seeks to increase the amount of time…
Verticality
“I am sooooo busy!” “Are you sure?” Verticality refers to that state which is not horizontal, when one is standing, waiting in line, running errands, attending functions. Sitting in chairs is also considered a type of verticality especially if a…
The Tyranny of Chairs
The chair has a long, rich history. An unassuming piece of furniture, it appeared in the ancient world first as a throne. Upon it, pharaohs and tyrants sat elevated above the throng who sat on the egalitarian ground. The only…
The Mammoth Hunters
The Mammoth Hunters lived some time ago in what is called the Gravettian culture which lasted a long time — 29,000 B.C. to 22,000 B.C. This was mankind’s flowering time. It seemed that the art of communication was taking hold.…
Why Horizontal?
Many of you are asking, “Why do we need to be horizontal? Wasn’t the whole point of human evolution to get us walking upright? Why are you telling us to lie down?” First, let me take you back those 2…