Gravitational Equalarity

Ready to invert!

Ready to invert!

How would you like to achieve gravitational equalarity with me? Sounds suggestive does it not? Here I will give an introduction to the horizontal concept of gravitational equalarity.

As you know, the horizontologist seeks to increase the amount of time spent in the horizontal position while decreasing the amount of time spent in the vertical. What you may not know is that there are different types of horizontologists. Some are so casual about everything, even, it seems, systematic casual new thinking movements. So they dabble in their Horizontology. A few, however, are quite serious about their Horizontology (There’s always the zealots.) These select few seek to achieve gravitational equalarity.

Gravitational equalarity divides the 24 hour day like a big, blueberry pie. Part is horizontal, the other is vertical. In general terms, we allot 8 hours for sleep time and 8 hours for work time. Then, the remaining 8 hours of the day are spent either vertical or horizontal depending on the person. Usually, only sleep time falls into the horizontal piece of the pie. So, in reality, most people live in the realm of verticality 2/3rds of each day.

This, my friends, creates fatigue, compression of the spine, sagging of skin, hostility, stress, as well as many other negative effects. The horizontologist tries to maximize time spent horizontal to the gravitational pull of Earth. This creates gravitational neutrality. This creates excellent circulation, freedom of breath, joint flexibility, and clarity of thought.

So, the intrepid horizontologist carves out more of the pie by discovering ways to be horizontal (1) during work (2) during remaining time. You try to minimize your verticality to where it is half or less of the pie. Then, this vertical time, to achieve gravitational equalarity, must be divided equally into time standing upright and time — you guessed it — hanging upside down. Why do we have to hang upside down? It is to neutralize the negative gravitational forces of Earth that your body and mind absorb during upright verticality. That’s why.

Now you will need an inversion table. This is a wonderful device that let’s you hang upside down and also at various lesser inverse angles. We try to avoid consuming and buying things but an inversion table is a great investment for your health and for the practice of Horizontology.

Now before I refer you to a chart, let me explain one more element to the equation — sitting. But I mean sitting that is done without chairs. Sitting on the floor. Sitting, in this way, is viewed as both horizontal and vertical. So, time spent sitting is subtracted from the time to be equally divided between standing and hanging upside down. Okay, now let’s see that chart. Oh, the chart is coming…

Here’s an example:

Let’s say you sleep 8 hours and you have figured out a way to work on your back as well. (How? More later!) That’s 16 hours horizontal which, as stated above, is gravitationally speaking, neutral. Now, there are 8 hours of the day left and let’s say there are 4 hours of proper floor sitting. The remaining 4 hours then is divided equally by upright verticality and upside down verticality.

That’s it in a nutshell. Does it make sense? Of course it does! It’s science!

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